A few weeks ago I took a class at work called "Surviving a Layoff" in preparation for the impending layoffs. One of the things that stuck with me was a statement by the instructor. She said that should you receive a layoff notice, expect your coworkers to be sympathetic and supportive for about two weeks. After that, you'll notice that they have moved on with their lives. It won't be that they don't care, but it's just the way that we survive and keep functioning.
That wasn't a surprising statement to me since I have experienced this with the death of both of my parents. People are there to offer love, support, condolences for a short time after the loss, but then they have to get on with life even though you remain in this shattered place of deep grief. They are not being cruel. It is simply how life works.
Last week, I witnessed this again. Even though it has only been a few days since the layoffs, I have seen several examples of people who retained their jobs, who are eager to just move on. It's not that they are cruel...or even unsympathetic...but for them, what lies ahead is what matters, not what has been.
Personally, I can't let go quite that quickly. I need to grieve. I want to be available to grieve with those who have lost so much. I want them to know that they matter and will not be forgotten the moment they walk out the door.
It's a fine line that we walk when it comes to letting go and moving ahead. I want to be sensitive and caring about what has been. I want to acknowledge that while change may be inevitable, it is also painful and requires a time for healing. I don't think that's not too much to ask.
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