Saturday, December 20, 2008


I'm sitting here waiting. And it's not good. Because the thing I am waiting for is the biggest, baddest winter storm to hit our area in several years. At least that is what all of the local weather people have been telling us. And now it's on our threshold! We're told to expect freezing rain, icy roads (that already happened earlier this week), high winds, high snow levels, and for me, high anxiety!

I'm not exaggerating when I say that if I have one phobia, it is snowy, wintery weather. Everyone who knows me knows that. It's embarrassing to admit that I spend hours...okay, days...stressing over having to drive in the snow, or worrying about everyone else that I love driving in the snow. And just when I think I am making a bit of progress about taking it all one day at a time, we get slammed with a snow storm that sentenced me to a four-and-a-half hour bus ride home from work in freezing temperatures.

Sometimes I try to remember if I ever liked the snow. I think I did as a child when it meant snow days from school and building snowmen with my sisters outside. But once I had to drive in it in order to get to work, the magic was gone. And it ain't coming back!

So, here I sit. Waiting. Maybe the snow will stop soon. Maybe the winds will miss us and we won't lose power. Maybe an unexpected heat wave will hit us before Monday when I again have to make the decision about whether I'm going to brave the ice and snow in order to drive to work. Or maybe, I can hide under my covers until May. I'm okay with that!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Blind Spots

So I wrote my first blog yesterday! Before I published it, I read and re-read it looking for typos. I didn't find any so I published! Then after reading it in its published form, what should I see but two mistakes that I had missed on my previous readings. How could this be? I was so careful! But there they were, staring me in the face. I guess that I was just so familiar with what I was trying to write that I was blind to the mistakes I had made. (I've since figured out how to go back and edit so hopefully there aren't any more mistakes!)

This got me thinking about a class that two of my co-workers attended last week. The class was about influencing people. One of their exercises involved having someone who knew them well tell them what one of their "blind spots" was. The very fact that it was called a "blind spot" implies that the individual was not aware of it. The instructor stressed the idea that sometimes we behave a certain way and other people assume that we know we are behaving that way. However, the reality is often just the opposite...we don't have a clue that we are acting like that.

If I have a "blind spot" that is enabling me to behave in a way that impacts others negatively, I think that I want to know that. I say that "I think that I want to know that" because I honestly don't know if I do. I suspect that if I'm honest with myself, I sometimes prefer to be allowed to do whatever I want to do regardless of anyone else. It's a sad thing to admit. And I hope that it doesn't happen too often.

In the end, I want to be willing to allow those that I love to point out the blind spots or "typos" in my life... those places that are so familiar I don't see them. And I especially want to allow God to correct them if it will result in a better end product... a better me.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Feeling the Pressure

Over the past several months I have had several insights that I felt were worth writing down. I knew that if I didn't record my thoughts somewhere, I would soon forget them completely. So, it has been on my agenda for some time to buy a journal to use as a depository for these thoughts.

However, I just never seemed to find the "right" journal. I didn't want to pay a lot for it...this wouldn't be my first attempt at journaling and my success rate isn't all that great. The journal needed to be lined since my handwriting is horrible and there seems to be a magnetic pull toward the lower right for everything that I write on unlined paper. It had to be just the right size... well, you get the point...I was never going to find the perfect journal!

Then recently, my daughter started writing on her blogspot and she told me that I should set one up. Me? Really? Well, why would certainly put an end to the journal hunt and maybe to my excuses for not writing down the insights that I'd like to remember.

So here I am. And I must say that I'm feeling the pressure! I have the proverbial blank sheet in front of me. I feel like I am at one of those political townhall meetings where they pass around the microphone so audience members can ask the candidates their most burning questions. The problem is, now that the microphone is in my hand, I've forgotten what I wanted to ask!

The saving grace to all of this is the fact that I know that no one else is really going to read this thing. So, I'll cut myself a break. I'll "muse" and I'll "ponder" until I am once again hit with a moment of insight. Then, with any luck, I'll remember how to get back on to this blog and type it up before it forget it!