In Control

I was having a difficult time in my quiet time yesterday morning.  Life is on edge these days. 

I work for a public agency that needed a tax vote to pass last month in order to continue operating at our current level.  It failed.  And now we face extensive service cuts and layoffs sometime between now and October.  It's a very real possibility that I will lose my job along with the necessary health benefits my family needs.

I believe that God is true to His word and will never leave us or forsake us.  I also believe what Scripture says about the trials that we will face in this life.  As Christians, we shouldn't look to be spared from pain and struggles, rather we should expect them to come to us.  But in the midst of those trials, God has promised to be faithful to us. Some days, these promises are easier for me to step out on than others.

Yesterday, I was battling anxiety about the future.  I prayed for peace-- for some very clear sign that God was still in control of my life and the lives of those I love. 

As I got up to finish getting ready for work, I turned on the morning news and headed into the kitchen to fix breakfast. That's when I heard the alert for "breaking news" and heard what had happened in Japan.

I felt my stomach drop as I tried to take in the tragedy that was unfolding on the television. Complete and utter devastation.  Suddenly I felt the apprehension rise, as in my mind, my town, my home were superimposed over those images of destruction.  I live along the San Andreas fault, and we are always hearing, "It's not a matter of if, but when the big one will hit."

With my mind already in a dark place, this added darkness was almost more than I could bear.  I didn't want to deal any more; I simply wanted to pull the covers over my head and hide out. But I knew that wasn't an option.  I had responsibilities. I had to keep going. So I got in my car and headed to work.

I had only gone a couple of miles when the sun started to come up.  All week long, we had been battered by heavy rain and strong winds, but this morning, the skies were clear. As I headed up the hill, a bright light to my left caught my eye.  I turned my head to look, and there was the most glorious pink and orange sunrise!  Tall fir trees stood in dark silhouette against the color drenched sky. 

And that's when I heard God speak to my heart, telling me,"Laura, I am still in control.  I made the sun rise this morning, just like every morning since the beginning of creation.  And no matter what is going on in your life, or in this world, it is under my control."  With grateful tears stinging my eyes, I turned my face toward the road ahead and kept going.

I know that I will still have moments of fear and apprehension.  I know that this world will continue to spin to its seemingly devastating conclusion just as Scripture has foretold.  But I also know that none of it will happen outside of the Creator's control.  None of it. And having trusted my life to the One who controls it all, I'll keep going "in the midst of everyday trials and triumphs."