What's In a Name?

What's in a name?  Well, for me, it's a lot more than just a collection of letters. I discovered this nearly 30 years ago when my husband and I got married.  I was surprised to realize how difficult it was for me to give up my maiden name and take on a new last name.  It wasn't that I didn't want to share my husband's last name. But that name simply wasn't me!

I had spent the first 28 years of my life as part of a family with a strong, proud history and my last name was my badge of belonging.  In giving up the name, I felt like I was losing my identity.  I have never been into the whole hyphenated name thing, so that wasn't an option and it just seemed too complicated to have different last names in one family.  So I changed my name and over time, my identity has encompassed both names and families which leads me to the purpose of this post.

Next week, my daughter gets married and is changing her name.  No big deal, right?  Except for me, it kind of is.  Maybe it's part of that whole identity thing again just mutating into a different form.  She's part of "us" and if you change her name, then she isn't anymore.  Well, I know that's ridiculous!  But I am struggling with this.

And to make it harder, she doesn't have the slightest problem with changing her name.  What?  How can she be my daughter?  She's suppose to feel all sentimental about her family history, and losing her identity blah, blah, blah. Nope, apparently not even a lick of regret.  Just excitement.  I mean, that sounds so well adjusted and everything. 

So, next Saturday when my son, who is doing the marrying, presents "Mr. and Mrs. ______" to the congregation, I'll probably be the only one muttering her "real" last name under my breath. :-)