Letting Go

Letting go.  It seems like I have been working on this for such a long time.  There are so many areas where I have been struggling to release my hold. 

Not long ago, I was puzzling over why this is so difficult for me... especially when it involves people and things that I know are right to let go.  Maybe it's selfishness.  Maybe it's insecurity.  And maybe, it's that sense of loss that comes with letting go of something that I've loved and needed.

I've come to realize that, for me, the process of letting go needs to happen in layers.  I can't simply open my hand or heart and release that which I have been holding close.  There is not a single thread that binds it to me.  Instead, it is a tapestry of countless threads that has been woven throughout my life.

To release it means there will be a hole where once there was something precious.  Maybe if I knew what would fill that hole, it would be easier to let go.

However, the only thing I know for sure is that if I don't release that person or situation, I will either end up strangling it, or it will end up strangling me. Neither one is an acceptable choice.

So, here I am.  Letting go...a little at a time.  And the amazing thing is that only as my grip loosens, will I have strength to embrace something new.