Finding Strength Without All the Answers

This summer started with such joy!  In the first part of June, our daughter became engaged to be married.  Then two weeks later, our son and daughter-in-law told us that we would become first-time grandparents in February.  Such rejoicing!

However, shortly after the news of the grandbaby, came the news that our son was being laid off from his position as a young adults pastor. Suddenly, the joy was a bit clouded by the uncertainty for the future.  We continue to pray for God's provision in this area.

Then two weeks ago, we had lay offs at my work.  My boss was laid off and our entire work group has been thrown into uncertainty.  It has felt like a hostile take-over and the morale is painfully low as we all struggle with this crushing blow.  I don't know who I will end up working for or with in the days ahead.  What I do know is that my work family is being torn apart.

Last week, however, came the most difficult news.  On Wednesday, we found out that my husband has prostate cancer.  Gratefully, the cancer was found early, but we are now trying to come to grips with this new and frightening reality, as we search for the best course of treatment.

In these past day, I have found myself crying out to God, asking "What happened? Why did the joy and blessings so quickly turn to such painful struggles?"  "Why all of this; why now; why us?"

But every time I start to utter these questions, I am brought up short, because I have asked these questions before. Only then I was asking  "Why ALL of this; why us?" as I tried to grasp God's goodness to me throughout my life.  While so much of the rest of the world is suffering and broken, God has graciously poured out His love for me in ways that I don't understand or deserve.

Tonight, He is still covering me with His love.  I may not have the answers to the questions that trouble me at this moment.  What I do have, is the assurance that nothing is touching my life that hasn't first gone through the Father's loving hands. I have not been abandoned, nor am I a helpless orphan.  I still have a Father who allows me to ask the "whys" until I am able to move forward in His strength...with or without the answers.