Writing a blog is a bit like having your own personal confessional. You can spill out all of your shortcomings for the world to see (yeah, like the world is reading this!) and somehow come away feeling better. It's cathartic, to say the least. So here's my latest confession.
I spent the better part of this week angry. Not just a little peeved, but fully engulfed with anger and frustration directed at a group of people that I'd finally had enough of. And it was exhausting. I went to bed at night, and although I was weary, my mind wouldn't shut off so I could sleep. I'd get up in the morning and my neck was tight and my stomach was still in a knot, and I was exhausted. I even lost two pounds from the stress...well, maybe that wasn't a bad thing!
It's not that I wanted to continue to be angry. I just couldn't resolve the situation or completely let go of the feelings that had hold of me. And it's not that I didn't pray, asking for God to help me to get past the anger and to offer grace. But the feelings didn't subside easily.
Today, however, I was finally able to move on, let go, and even go and ask for forgiveness of one individual I feared I had offended.
But what a waste! A waste of energy and emotion. I can't get those days back. I can't make them something of beauty rather than the ugliness that, quite frankly, they were.
All I can do is be thankful that my Heavenly Father still loves me and will give me another chance to get it right. I hope I don't disappoint Him next time.
2 comments:
Here is my confession. This morning one of my roommates used my ketchup without asking and I felt really annoyed. However, here is the best part...I have two bottles of unopened ketchup in my cuboard. How selfish am I!?
Hmm...I feel your pain!
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