I'm doing it again. I know that I have made much progress in the area of "control" over the past few years. But today, the need to control has me in its grip once more.
But before I get to that, let me back up a few years to where I first learned that I had issues with control. It was at work and my boss told me that one day. I was deeply offended, especially considering the situation that brought about that pronouncement (way too many details to go into here, but trust me, it was HER issue, not mine!).
However, over time, I began to realize that she might have been right. I was always stressing when other people didn't follow my time table for getting things done. Or believe it or not, they actually did things their OWN way; not at all the way I would have done them. Well, you probably get the picture. It was a painful realization, but an important one.
So, as my children have grown up and become independent, I've tried very hard to pull back. I'm not always successful at it...just ask them! But the thing they don't know is just how much MORE I have wanted to offer advice and suggestions than I have actually done! So, believe it or not, I have made much progress. Except for today.
Today, the painter guy was suppose to come and pressure wash our house in preparation for painting it next weekend. And before that happens, the gutter guys are suppose to come on Monday and take down our old gutters so the house can be painted before they put up new ones after the paint job is finished. And the whole thing has to be done three weeks from now because we are having a big family get together before my daughter heads to Russia. I don't want worker men around on that day. We're on a schedule here, in case you can't tell!
Well, the painter guy never showed. Supposedly, he was going to be here by 8:00 a.m. He wasn't. After a couple of hours of no-show, I asked my husband if he needed to call him. He said that he might of misunderstood about the actual time. Great! We have no actual agreed upon time of arrival. I love things like this.
So I ran some errands and hoped that his truck would be parked in front of my house when I turned down my street and he would be happily spray washing away. No deal. Since it was close to noon, I nonchalantly asked my husband if we should call painter dude. "Why?" he asked. "I trust him." Great...trust is a wonderful thing. But the day is a-wasting here.
It's not like I wanted to call him and yell, "Where the heck are you?" You can be very subtle. Something like, "Oh, hi. I was just checking to see what time you thought you'd be at our house so we can be sure and have one of us here, since we have some things to take care of today." Non-threatening, right? But it gets the point out there that we ARE expecting you. Plus, if the poor guy totally messed up and FORGOT that he was suppose to come, he could quickly cover up that fact and give us an estimated time of arrival (now that he knew he was suppose to arrive). It's a win-win.
But apparently, men aren't that great with the subtlety stuff (sorry, Honey). So it is now after 5:00 p.m, I'm fixing dinner (yes, even as I write this) and no hide nor hair of painter guy. The house is as dirty as ever. And we're still on a schedule to get this done (at least I am!). But there's always tomorrow!
And I just want you to know, that I have only suggested calling the guy twice (out loud. What's gone on in my head is another story!) But I'm going to chalk it up to another lesson in how not to be a controlling person. By tomorrow night, I'll know if I got an A on the lesson or flunked!
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