Assume Good Intent

Last week I spent Wednesday, Thursday and Friday in a three-day "launch" for a seven-month project that I have been selected to participate in at work. Those three days were spent learning about personality types, communication styles and skills, team-building and project managment skills in preparation for this upcoming project.

While we received tons of information during those three days, I was particularly struck by one phrase. We were discussing how each of us communicates in different ways. Yet it is so important to really try to hear what others are saying and not shut down or become defensive when someone communicates in a way that is different from our own style.

So here is the phrase that I have been pondering for the past few days: Assume good intent. In other words, keep an open mind. Believe that the other person really does have good intentions in saying the things that they are saying. Even if I totally disagree with them or think that what they are saying makes no sense at all, most people are not trying to sabotage or offend anyone. So if I listen to them from a place of assuming that they mean well, I am more likely to really hear them.

Assume good intent. It's not really all that deep. But imagine how your morning might change if when you hear your husband asking, "Are all of the bagels gone?" instead of assuming that he is criticizing you for eating the last bagel, he's merely trying to figure out if he needs to eat something else for breakfast.

Assume good intent. It's what I hope people will do when they listen to me. I don't try to offend or hurt them. So if I inadvertently do, I hope they will assume that it was an accident and that they will extend grace to me.

You know the old saying, "You know what happens when you assume..." Well, I think we can change that saying by focusing on the "good intent." At least, I'm going to give it a try.