The Wisdom of Hallmark

Last night I watched a re-run of a Hallmark movie which I had seen before.  I'm not ashamed to admit that.  I really like a lot of them.  Schmaltsy?  Maybe. But they are often good for my soul and I find a little nugget of wisdom and hope that I can carry with me.  So it was last night.

I don't even remember the name of this movie...something about Leah.  And I'm not going to share the storyline.  Just the nugget of wisdom that has come back to me several times today.  It was something that the mother in the story said to her daughter who was going through a difficult time in her life that pierced my heart with it's truth.  She said, "A mother is only as happy as her saddest child."

I know that every mother out there knows the veracity of that statement.  Whether your child is an infant suffering from colic or a mother herself who is struggling with the cares of this life...or somewhere in between...you know that your own happiness is completely woven into the tapestry of your children's lives.  When they are hurting, or struggling, you feel unsettled as you also experience the pain.  You'd do anything possible to ease the situation.  You'd make any sacrifice necessary to bring joy and healing.  You would simply do anything and everything to help.

But you also know, that sometimes there is nothing you CAN do in the physical sense.  You don't have the wisdom, the skills, the money, the influence...you name it...it's just not there.  And it breaks your heart.

That's where I am right now.  I long to solve a situation, to bring peace and happiness out of an unsettled place.  But I don't know how.  I don't have the answers.  And the funny thing is, I'm not suppose to have the answers.  But I know Who does!

And that's why a little while ago, I took my lawn chair to a quiet place in my yard and simply sat and prayed.  I unburdened my heart.  I asked for peace for my child as well as for myself.  I claimed promises I know that God will keep.  And finally, I thanked Him for the way things are right now.  For the struggles, the pain, the unsettledness.  I thanked Him that He understands that a parent can only be as happy as their saddest child, because He feels the same way about all of His children.  Which means, He's only as happy as I am...or you are.  But the biggest difference is that He does have the power to bring the joy and healing when the time is right.

So, thank you Lord.  And thank you Hallmark!  A bit of wisdom for the day.

Welcome Baby Boy!

Yesterday I opened my Bible to one of the front pages and there I had the great privilege of adding my grandson's name to the list of other family members. Arriving on Thursday, Emerson James joined a family who is thrilled to welcome him into their hearts and lives! 

Weighing in at 8 pounds 15 ounces, Emerson is a snuggler who loves to settle down on your chest and sleep.  And this Grandma is so smitten with the little guy that she'd let him do that for hours!  With a head full of dark hair and dimpled cheeks, I just never get tired of gazing at that sweet face.

As Mommy, Daddy and Big Sister Ella adjust to their newly expanded family, I just want to say that there's nothing like a new grandchild to make the world feel right again!

This sleeping stuff is hard work...

...but I think I'm getting it down!

Elections - Who's in Control?

I know that in this country we are so privileged and blessed to have the right to vote.  Yet election time always leaves me feeling conflicted.  I'm not really a political person. In fact, the older I get, the more politics turns me off.  But then I think about the millions of people around the world who would give their lives to have a say in their future by being able to vote.  So the fact that I have that right, is a heavy responsibility and I try to do my best when it comes time to vote.

Last night I followed the various races and issues and when I went to bed, it was with a heaviness settling over me.  Sometimes it goes the other way and I feel awash with hope that things may change for the better.  However, due to some issues that were being decided and that impact me directly as well as indirectly, there was a cloud hovering over me as I slipped into bed.

This morning,  I drove to work struggling to find hope as I looked to the days ahead.  This country seems to be spiraling further and further away from any moral compass.  And as I drove through the dark morning hours, I felt that darkness engulfing me.  But then something happened. A song came on the radio that reminded me that nothing is truly out of control.

I was reminded that God is in control...and He always has been.  He was in control the day before the election, and He still is in control the day ofter the election. That has never changed, and never will.

So as I try to stay strong in the face of some of these political outcomes and wait for others still to be determined, I do so wrapped in the strong comfort of knowing Who is really in control.  And He will always get my vote.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness. I like to think that I am quick to seek forgiveness when I have wronged someone and just as swift to offer it when someone requests it of me.  I like to think that.  But I'm not so sure that it's always true.

I know that true forgiveness brings healing and restoration.  But I also know it doesn't come without a price.   As humans, we aren't able to just forget something that hurt or harmed us.  God is the only one who can truly forgive and forget.  The rest of us simply have to choose to move forward from that place of pain or injustice even though we still remember what happened.

That's why forgiving someone isn't for the faint of heart.  It is difficult and requires a generosity of heart and mercy that doesn't come naturally to most of us.  In his devotional, "A Year with God," R. P. Nettlehorst stated it so clearly that it was actually painful to me when I read it.  He said, "Forgiveness is the granting of mercy to one who deserves anger.  Forgivness is a decision against justice.  Forgiveness gives a benefit to one who does not deserve it." Those words go against everything that we believe is fair and just.  Yet they are at the very heart of true forgiveness.

In this life, we will all do things that cause others pain. And as much as we might like to, we can't go back and undo those things.  Many years ago, my pastor summed up forgiveness in a way that I  have never forgotten.  He said, "Forgivness means being willing to live with the consequences of someone else's sin."  We don't live in a vacuum.  Our actions impact people and relationships.  May we all offer and receive true, mercy-filled forgiveness that brings restoration

I Struck Gold!

I struck gold last Saturday!  No, it wasn't in the form of gold nuggets or jewelry.  Actually, it was in the form of a wonderful afternoon spent in the company of my long-time friend, Missy.  I'm sure you know the children's song that goes, "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold." (Admit, it...you're singing it in your head right now!)  Well, every word of that song rang true as Missy, my sister, Martha, and I talked, laughed and reminisced our way through a delightful afternoon.

Missy, Martha and I went to college together.  And as close as we can figure, it's been nearly 15 years since we have seen each other.  But a couple of years ago, Missy went on a search to find me.  She tried looking me up on Facebook which didn't work, since I'm not on Facebook.  But with a little additional sleuthing on her part, she found my daughter, Elizabeth's Facebook page where there was a link to her blog.  So Missy followed the link to Elizabeth's blog and discovered a link to my blog...and there you have!  She found me!  And finally, last Saturday we reconnected over lunch.

Since our marathon catching up session, I've done a lot of thinking about how life leaves its mark on us.  The unique circumstances, experiences, people, trials and triumphs that we each live through constantly redefine and sculpt us into the people we are today.  This doesn't mean that the current version of "us" is any more real or valid than who we were years ago.  It's simply the latest "release" that includes the most recent updates from our life experiences.

But part of what made Saturday's visit with Missy so wonderful was the opportunity to reconnect with the people that we all were so long ago. Afterall, those were the people that everythng else has been built upon. Aside from my family, no one who knows me today knows that person that Missy knows.

So, who were we back then?  We were best buds.  We laughed a whole lot.  We spent way too much time at the Unversity of Washington's library talking instead of studying.  We piled groups of friends into Missy's Volvo, Garbo, to go out to eat...way too often.  We turned up the radio and belted out our own version of the 1972 song, "Stuck in the Middle with You," whenever we went anywhere.  Missy was always known as "the funny one" and I was known as "the sensitive one" and we both balked at those titles, knowing that we could easily reverse the labels. Missy always pushed me to try new things, knowing that on my own, I wouldn't do them   Later, we were traveling buddies and coworkers.  She was a bridesmaid in my wedding and another "daughter" to my parents.

Of course, we have all changed since those experiences of so long ago.  As a matter of fact, Missy isn't even Missy anymore.  For many years now, she has gone by her given name of Melissa. But in a gracious act of friendship, she's allowed me to continue to call her Missy...since that's who she always will be to me.

So, last Saturday I struck gold!  It was a blessed reminder of just how rich our friendships make us.  Old or new, friends are always treasures.



That's me on the left, Missy on the right and my sister, Martha, "stuck in the middle" with us! (And, uh, no...we didn't color coordinate our outfits. We just know what makes for a great photo op!)

I Have a Name!

It's finally happened!  My granddaughter, Ella, has finally figured out what she is going to call me.  "Fama." I'm overjoyed!

Several months ago Ella started talking and bestowing some of the usual names on other family members.  Daddy was "Dada."  Mommy was "Mama."  Grandpa started out sounding like "Bapa" (which we loved!) but in recent days seems to have slipped into the more traditional "Papa."  But Grandma? Nothing.

It wasn't always like that. Last spring I remember going to babysit and walking into the house while she was finishing her dinner.  When she spotted me, immediately her arms reached out and she yelled, "Mama!"  When I picked her up from her high chair, she wrapped her arms around my neck and put her head on my shoulder.  I was in absolute heaven!  After that, "Mama" slipped out a few more times, but soon the confusion set in. You could see the slightly confused and embarrassed look on her face when she called me "Mama."

You see, our girl is smart, and it didn't take long for her to realize that there was a problem here.  How could she call both her mommy, who she saw everyday, and her grandma, who was in and out, "Mama?"  Something had to go. And that something was a name for grandma. 

So I have waited, and waited, and this weekend, my patience paid off!  Finally, Ella, gave me a name.  "Fama." Now our connection is complete!

I was thinking about this whole name thing this week and I realized how special a name is to our identity.  I never feel like I know someone if I don't know both their first and last names.  For years, my job involved working with about 500 employees, but just their names. I rarely saw what they looked like.  So when occasionally I was able to meet the individual and put a name with the face, I felt like I had completed the connection. 

Whether we like our names or not, the fact is, they are deeply important to who we are.  They give us a framework upon which we hang the rest of our identity. 

In Isaiah 43:1, God says, "I have called you by name, and you are mine."  The fact that Ella now knows my name makes me happy.  But the fact that God knows, and calls me by my name makes me rejoice! So whether He's calling me "Fama," "Laura," or "Daughter," it doesn't matter. Because, anyway you say it, I am His!

Empty Your Pockets

For some reason, during my quiet time this morning, I had this memory of my dad emptying his pants pockets when he came home from work.  He'd go into the bedroom to change out of his work clothes and put on his jeans to relax for the evening.

The process involved emptying everything out of his pockets and placing it all on his dresser.  Out came his wallet, his keys, the loose handful of change, his comb and handkerchief. And all of it found its nightly place on the dresser...except for the handkerchief which usually made it into the jeans pocket.   In the morning, before Dad left for work, he would reverse the routine, putting the items back into his pants pocket to carry with him throughout the day.
 
But not everything made it back into his pockets.  If there were too many coins, he'd sort them out so the change didn't weigh so much.  Sometimes, he'd set aside a screw or washer that he had been carrying with him until he could go to the hardware store to find the replacement he needed for one of his projects.  But once he'd made his purchase, the old item got tossed. It was a quick, and effective cleansing that prepared him for his day.

This morning, I was surprised by the memory of my dad and this ordinary, insignificant routine.   But as I was thinking about it, God seemed to whisper to me, "That's what I want you to do, Laura.  Every night, I want you to "empty your pockets."  Sort through all the cares and burdens and leave all the weight and concerns with me.  I want to give you a fresh start each day. I will carry yesterday's burdens for you."

Today has been one of those days that I have felt weighed down with cares for several family members and friends who are struggling with some serious, and painful things.  I prayed for each, multiple times, and yet my "pockets" have felt extremely heavy. 

So, tonight, as I get ready for bed, I'm thankful that God whispered to me this morning.  He knew that I'd need to take Him up on his offer to shoulder the concerns I've kept stuffed in my pockets today. All I need to do is empty them out into His hands.

News from the Summer!

We've had a pretty busy summer.  Some of it wasn't so great as I waded through several health issues that took some time and effort to pin down.  But for the most part, I'm plodding along pretty much the same as before all of that.

Fortunately, the summer also had some wonderful events. In July, Bud and I managed a much anticipated visit to our friends, Paul and Martha, in the mountains of Idaho where we visited, slept in, ate, read, watched the birds, visited, slept in, ate, read, watched the birds...AND played a few rousing rounds of Bananagrams.  It was AWESOME!

We also had a quick but wonderful visit from our daughter, Elizabeth, in August.  During her very brief stay, we were able to have am extended family get together as well as plenty of time for Elizabeth to reconnect with the ever-darling niece, Ella. So fantastic!

At the end of August, my four sisters and I headed out on our annual long weekend in Whistler B.C.  The weather forecast hadn't looked very promising, but we lucked out and the sun shone every day.  As usual, we ate, read, watched movies, gabbed and had a totally relaxing time (and I also talked them into playing Bananagrams too!).  I have great sisters!

My husband, Bud, spent a month putting in french drains in our back yard in an effort to turn it from the swampy mess it becomes during the winter, into a normal, usable back yard.  To say it was a major undertaking would be a HUGE understatement.  I could tell a few stories of just how HUGE, but it's best not to go there!  Just this morning, we finished filling in the trenches, slightly ahead of the predicted rainfall!  My husband is my hero!

And last, but not least...on Father's Day, we got the news that...

ELLA IS GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER IN FEBRUARY!

 

Yep, we're all pretty excited about that!  In just a few more weeks, we should know if it's another granddaughter or our first grandson.  Doesn't really matter, it will be wonderful!

So, as I get ready to close the book on another summer, I am once again astounded at how fast it went!  It's a bit hard to let go since summer took such a stinkin' long time getting here this year.  But there's that definite coolness in the evening that reminds me that autumn is just around the corner and a part of me is starting to embrace it.  Afterall, to everything, there is a season... so maybe we'll play Apples-to-Apples this fall!

Knock, Knock!

KNOCK, KNOCK!!  Is anyone still there?  Well, I wouldn't blame you if you're not!  I know it seems like I simply jumped ship and deserted this blog.  But, trust me, it wasn't intentional!

Life just kind of got in the way of blogging, and I'm not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.  Either way, it's what happened. But just so you know, I have written so many posts in my head during the past two months when I was missing...and they were fantastic!  Insightful. Humorous. Powerful.  Totally life-changing!  Uh huh. Well, they might have been if I'd ever made it to my computer to actually write them.

It wasn't just my blog that I ignored...I pretty much did the same thing to my email.  I simply haven't had the desire to sit in front of a computer any more than I already do at work. 

And I'll be honest, it was refreshing.  It was freeing to not even want to go online.  It was what life was like just a few short years ago before everything centered around computers, smart phones, tablets etc.  There used to actually be down time spent with the people who were right there with you!  Don't get me wrong, I love being able to stay connected with friends and family who are a far away.  But sometimes, I think that happens by sacrificing time with the people who are here with me now. It's good to find a balance.

I guess I can't promise that I'll be here on this blog as regularly as I once was. But I hope to get back into some kind of routine mostly because I love to write.  But also because I was surprised to learn that there are actually a few folks out there that read this, and have missed it while I was gone!  What a delightful discovery that was for me!

So, if you'll just open the door and let me in again, I'll try not to become just some lazy guest.  I promise to try and do my part by sharing with you what life continues to teach me!

When God Rings the Doorbell

I have a dear friend, Gwyn.  We don't see each other very often which is a shame since we practically live in the same neighborhood.  I guess we let the busyness of our lives interfere.  But no matter how long it's been since we've seen each other, there is always an instant connection when we get together.  We are simply there for each other.

Today, I busy doing things around the house when the doorbell rang.  Not my favorite thing since that usually means someone is going to try to sell me something when I open the door.  But today, It was my friend Gwyn standing on the porch!  She stepped in the house and said that she couldn't stay long but she just wanted to tell us hello and wish us a Happy Fourth of July.  What a wonderful surprise! 

One of the things I love about my friend is that she is a prayer warrior and I know I can count on her when she says she'll pray for me.  And I need some prayer right now.  I haven't been feeling well for the past few days.  A trip to the emergency room didn't reveal anything.  Neither have two visits to the doctor's office.  But when Gwyn showed up on my doorstep, I knew that she hadn't accidently stopped by.  Whether she knew it or not, God had sent her over to pray for me...which she did! 

I still don't know what is going on.  But one thing I do know is that, sometimes, God rings the doorbell and when I answer it, there is a person standing there completely unaware that they look exactly like Him.

Happy Fourth of July!



There's something about the Fourth of July that I love.  It's a holiday that requires so little of me to make it feel like a celebration.  This year we aren't doing anything special at all except grilling some burgers for dinner and putting out our flag.  Even so, it feels special.  And it should.

We have so much to be thankful for as citizens of this country.  You've heard it all before so I won't bother going there again.  But it would be nice if, in the midst of all our activities and celebrations today, we stop for just one moment to remember how fortunate we are.  And maybe even say a prayer of thanks!

"From the mountains,

to the prairies,

to the oceans

white with foam.

God, bless America,

my home, sweet home."

Who Knows the Future?

In the past few weeks, I've had a couple of conversations that had a common theme even though, at first glance, they seemed to be totally opposite from one another. 

The first one was with my 26-year-old daughter who was struggling with looking ahead and trying to figure out where she is headed in her life.  The other was with my sister (notice how nice I am...I didn't give her age!). She and her husband had been having serious conversations about when they can consider retiring now that the economy has tanked and totally changed their retirement plans.

As I thought about those conversations, I realized that, when boiled down to their bare bones, both conversations were concerned about the very same thing...what's going to happen in the future?  If we're honest, who doesn't think about that and have some concerns? 

When we're young, we want to make wise choices that will lead to happy, purposeful lives.  As we get older, we also need our choices to be wise as we prepare for our "golden years."  But it's so very hard because we don't know what will happen in the future.  So we stress ourselves out trying to examine every conceivable scenario and make every possible contingency plan.

A few days after my conversation with my sister, I was reading the lesson on a daily calendar that I have that is written by Charles F. Stanley.  It was so perfect; I had to call my sister and read it to her.  Here's what it said:

"You cannot predict tomorrow.  You cannot fully prepare for all of its contingencies. You cannot fully provide for all you'll need in your future.  God not only can, He already has!  God is never caught off-guard.  He is never taken by surprise.  He never comes up short.  So you do not have to live with anxiety about the future.  The peace-filled heart is the one that recognizes 'my times are in His hands.'"

I don't know about you, but that's an awfully good reminder for me!

Jesus Friend of Sinners

If there's one thing I can count on, it's that the musical group "Casting Crowns" will always nail it with the lyrics to their songs. They aren't always comfortable to listen to, because they always speak the Truth that's often hard to hear.  And that holds true for the song that I've been hearing lately, "Jesus Friend of Sinners." 

Listen.  Let the words speak truth to your heart as they do to mine.

Cooking Lessons

I made Sloppy Joes for dinner last week.  It's been a really long time since I've fixed them and I had to stop for a minute to remember just what ingredients I needed. As I ran through the list in my head, I remembered an incident that happened many years ago.

I use mustard in my Sloppy Joes sauce.  And one night as I was serving them to my family, my husband made a comment that he wasn't all that fond of the mustard in the sauce. "Really? Well, I'm not that fond of the liquid smoke that you put in your sauce," I thought to myself.  And since my kids liked them and it was a recipe from my mother, I figured I'd just keep on making them my way... which I did.

The funny thing is that when we were first married, I stopped using my mother's recipe for spaghetti sauce because my husband didn't like the tomato soup that the recipe called for.  I looked until I found  another recipe which we liked, though I must admit that I missed my mom's recipe.  Of course all of that is a moot point, since these days, my spaghetti sauce almost always comes from a jar!

Now, before you get the wrong idea about my husband, just let me say that he is the easiest person in the world to cook for. He is very appreciative of the meals I fix and is extremely easy-going about what we have for dinner.  AND he jumps in and does some of the cooking himself.  So don't be hard on him.

It's just that as I made my Sloppy Joes last week...complete with mustard...I wondered why I had held my ground on the Sloppy Joes yet changed the way I made spaghetti. Both recipes had come from my mother and I liked them.

While I couldn't really come up with a logical reason for my choices, I did see a little life lesson.  There are times in life when we stand our ground...for whatever reasons...and other times when we are flexible and willing to change. Sometimes we sacrifice, other times we stand firm. It's all simply part of the give and take of life. And it's only when we each find the right combination of the two that we truly learn to live well with others.

By the way... last week, my husband ate a pretty healthy helping of Sloppy Joes...mustard and all!

Confession

I have a confession to make;  I might as well just lay it all out there. I have blogger-envy.  It's an embarrassing thing to admit, but it's the truth. 

I love reading other people's blogs.  I often lose track of time as I flit from one blog to another, relishing the insights, humor and advice that I find inhabiting the words of so many wonderful bloggers.   I love it!  And I hate it!

When I read a beautifully written post that encourages and inspires me I think "What?  Why didn't I write that?"  Or when I laugh at the humorous experiences of some hilarious blogger I wonder, "How come I didn't come up with that?"  It's painful.  It truly is.

The truth is, I am an accidental blogger.  I never planned on writing a blog.  But one Sunday night in November of 2008, my daughter happened to be home.  She had recently started blogging and thought that I should give it a try.  So while I watched with amazement and trepidation, she set up "In The Midst" and immediately handed over the keyboard to me. I loved it! And I hated it!

It's a joy to have a place to deposit the countless thoughts that swirl around in my head on a regular basis.  There is such satisfaction in pulling together ideas in a way that can be shared with others.  It's a pleasure, pure and simple. I love that!

But then there are other times, when nothing comes.  Zero. Zip. Not a single thing.  I struggle to think of something, anything to write. And I hate that! 

That's when I usually hit the other blogs.  And that's when the envy begins.  So there you have it. Blogger-envy. 

I hope that all of you wonderful bloggers recognize your role in this. If you weren't such great writers, I wouldn't have this problem.  But the bottom line is this:  I love you!  And I hate you...just a little!

Heavenly Thoughts

I never used to think about heaven very much.  Of course as a young child I learned about heaven in Sunday School. And as a born-again Believer, I rest in the knowledge that it is my future home.  But I've never spent too much time thinking about just what it will be like when I get there.

However, the older I get, the more I experience a sense of anticipation when I think of heaven.  Don't get me wrong, this isn't some morbid wish to be done with my life here, although there are days when the weariness of living in this world strikes deep into my soul.

Rather, it's simply that every now and then, God gives me the briefest glimpse of what it will be like to spend eternity worshiping and praising Him, and it makes me excited! I had one of those glimpses the other day.

As I drove to work on a glorious sunny morning last week, Matt Redman's song "10,000 Reasons" came on the radio.  While singing along with the music, I was suddenly overwhelmed with what it will be like when I am joined by countless other saints in heaven worshiping and singing God's praises forever.  It was breathtaking!  Yet it was just a preview of coming attractions, and I for one, can't wait to see the real thing!

A Shore Thing!

We just got back from a long weekend at the beach with family. My husband, being from the East coast, would say we'd been to the shore, but we Washingtonians go to the beach! It would have been absolutely perfect had our daughter and son-in-law been able to join us from California, but they weren't able to make it this time.  But that just gives us the perfect excuse for planning another trip when they can come!

On Thursday morning, my hubby and I headed to Seabrook, Washington where we had rented a sweet little cottage called "A Shore Thing."  That evening, we were joined by our son, daughter-in-law, and nearly 15 month-old granddaughter, Ella, and that's when the fun really began.

We had planned for an ever-changing weather scenario by bringing layers of clothes, rubber boots and umbrellas but God smiled down on us and other than a little sprinkle on Saturday morning, we had plenty of sunshine and blue skies! 

Before leaving on our trip, I had been on the look out for the perfect bucket and shovel to bring for Ella's first sand-digging experience.  But every bucket I found, was flimsy and looked like the handle would be history by the time the first shovelful of sand hit it. 

But then I went to Costco and...SCORE!  They have the best 13-piece bucket set that is sturdy and fun!  Ella had a blast with it before we ever even got outside. So if you are in the market for a great bucket and shovel set, check out your local Costco.  They really should be paying me for this endorsement...

Anyway, here's a how the beach looked this weekend to our gang!

Heading out for our first trip down to the beach

Look at that fantastic bucket set!

Getting a feel for the beach thing!

You'd cry too if they told you that you had to leave the sand behind :(

Beautiful family!

Lookin' good!

Couldn't resist this photo op!

Ella liked Grandma's boots...

Blue skies and sunshine...sweet!

Oh yeah, this is the good life!

Smile!

Our home, sweet home, away from home!

The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

I learned a little lesson tonight.  Children can't be trusted to tell the whole story. 

I was talking on the phone with my daughter, Elizabeth, who now lives in California, but a couple of years ago lived in St. Petersburg, Russia.  She was asking me about her cousin, Kevin, who is living in Mozambique where he is working with the Peace Corps (these world traveling kids!). She wanted to know the latest news from him.

I told Elizabeth that my sister (Kevin's mom) had told me that he had a friend coming to visit.  He was going to have to go to the city to pick her up and that would require a night in a hotel.  Since crime is so bad in the city, they were planning on putting a chair under the door knob for extra security. 

These words were no sooner out of my mouth when my daughter said "Kevin shouldn't tell his mom that kind of stuff."

"Oh," I said, "So what kind of things did you lie to me about when you were in Russia?"

"I didn't lie," she said. " If you had asked me if I was going to put a chair under the door knob for extra security,  I would have told you, 'Yes, I am!'"

The bottom line is, if you want the truth and nothing but the truth, you've got to know the right questions to ask.  Not all that reassuring, actually!

Scars Understood

Lately, I've been listening to a beautiful song by MercyMe called "The Hurt and the Healer" and it's gotten me thinking about some events of my life where I end up asking the question "Why?" "Why did I have to go through that painful experience?"  "Why did things turn out that way when I was expecting something so different?"  "Why does it have to hurt so much?"

At those times I feel like I need an answer in order to move forward.  In all honesty, I feel like a deserve an answer for the suffering I've gone through and the scars that I bear.  I seem to believe that if I could just know the "why" then I could make sense of it and move on.

It's not that I don't understand the value of trials and suffering.  They build strength, perseverance, and character.  Sometimes it may take some time before I see those results in my life, but when I do, I'm grateful for the pain I had to go through.  But there are those experiences that wound and I never see the benefit from the resulting scar.

A few years back, I fell and broke my hip which resulted in the need for two surgeries to repair the break.  Both surgeries left scars.  I don't question the reason for those scars because I understand the need for them. They brought healing to brokenness.

But sometimes we bear scars where we simply can't see any good resulting from them.  They make no sense to us and that in itself brings added pain.

The question I have to face at those times, is do I trust that God has a purpose for the pain and that someday those scars will be healed and understood when I stand before Him?  Do I trust Him enough to move forward with my unanswered questions , believing that He will use every bit of the struggles and pain that I surrender to Him, for His glory? 

As the song I've been listening to says, there will be a time "when the hurt and the Healer collide,"  and eventually, all of our scars will be undestood.  I want to move forward in that knowledge... beyond the scars and pain... to the glory that awaits.

It's Today!

It was 31 years ago today!  That's when my husband and I made that long walk down the church aisle to a new life together.  Friends and family gathered to help us celebrate that special day.

Then a few short weeks later, we headed south to a new home in the middle of the Mojave desert. As we drove down the freeway, my new husband said, "We're on an adventure, just the three of us...you, me and the Lord!" That adventure took us to Twenty Nine Palms, California, home of the Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center.  A little bit intimidating!

But life in the desert had its charms...waking up to sun streaming in the window every morning, no traffic jams since the town only had one stop light, and best of all, a two year honeymoon for just the two of us...oh yeah, and the Marine Corps!

While I missed my family back home like crazy, I wouldn't have traded those early days of just "us" for anything, because it gave my husband and me the chance to become our own family.

Now, 31 years later, we look back and bask in the blessings of those years!  Family and friends who have enriched our lives beyond measure.  Heartaches and joys that have molded us into the people we are today.  And the continuation of that adventure with "just the three of us"... and everyone else we love!